Honey, I'll Be A Little Late For Dinner

My husband, who has been traveling like a banshee lately, made a surprise dinner reservation for us at a great place in Sausalito on Monday night.

Traffic has been so light thanks to summer vacationers, I figured I'd get there in no time flat from the city after work. So when I hit a backlog of cars leading up to the Golden Gate Bridge, I was puzzled.

Until I saw the cause of the backup in the news today:



Poor little ostrich. Her butt broke the rear window of the van in which she was traveling when the driver suddenly accelerated -- and she landed on the bridge pavement.

Let's just say that if *my* butt broke the window while a driver suddenly accelerated on the Golden Gate Bridge I don't think I'd ever hear the end of it...

I'm just saying.

WTF???

I received the KnitBits newsletter from Berrocco the other day:



Are they kidding me? Does anybody think this "vest" is nice? I think it tops (no pun intented) anything in my "Just Because You Can Knit It" post of a few months back.

I know that the more patterns a yarn company can put out there, the more yarn they will sell, the more money they'll make, the more yarns they can produce. Blah, blah, blah, blah. I get it. I'm in marketing.

But this thing? What were they thinking?

Dear Berrocco: I've got a few cats with a couple hairballs they'd like to add to this "design." But I don't think anyone would notice...

I'm a Ho

Are you a yarn ho? I am.

I guess it could be worse. I could be a ho on 9th Avenue turning tricks. Instead I'm a Yarn Ho turning web pages and buying yarn like a love-struck teenager.

Lately I've been lusting after Rowan. I guess that makes me a Rowan Yarn Ho. I can't help myself. I love their yarns. I'm obsessed over their yarns. And their pattern books, too.

My favorite new obsession?

Rowan Plaid.

It all started with an innocent purchase of 3 skanks of Plaid in Lavender Mist from my LYS. I wasn't sure what to do with it so I shoved it in one of my many yarn drawers.

Then I found 3 skanks of Plaid in Spicy on ebay. I started knitting a 2x2 rib hat and matching scarf. That's all it took. I was hooked on Rowan Plaid. Or shall I say I became a hooker for Rowan Plaid? (Just continuing with the whole Yarn Ho theme here...)

Which led me to buy the Plaid Collection pattern book.



Which led me to buy yarn for not one, but two ponchos. (I'm pretty sure my What is Ugly, What is Not radar is operating at full-bore again so I'm not afraid of repeating the Razor's Edge Poncho disaster...) But if you think said radar is still on the blink -- do tell. (I won't be insulted, really. Just think of the time you'll be saving me.)

Poncho #1: Zephyr

Poncho #2: Thunder

While this model looks quite lovely jogging on the beach sporting Thunder and a Monica Lewinsky beret, I doubt that's how I'll wear mine when it's completed...But you nevah know...


The Zephyr poncho is part of a "set" -- hat, scarf and poncho

I'm half way through the scarf and almost finished with the hat. (And when I finish, I'm wearing it the next day. I don't care if it's 75 degrees in San Francisco -- it's foggy here in the morning. And cold...)

Then it's on to Zephyr and Thunder. God I hope my radar is working again.

Houston, We Have A Problem

It's called the Razor's Edge poncho.


I thought it was so cute.

I saw this pattern months ago in the Stitch 'n Bitch Nation book. I've blogged about my issues with the pattern: I couldn't get the lace stitch to line up. Alas, the pattern was wrong in the book. Their errata web page pointed me in the right direction and I've been knitting this thing like a lunatic for weeks, amazed that my lace stitches were looking so groovy.

But then my husband saw my work in progress.

Me, to husband with squished up nose: "What? Don't you like it?"

Husband: "Well. It's not my favorite of what you've done."

Me: "What do you mean? It's cute."

Husband: "It's so old lady."

Me: (to self): "Oh, you just can't see how the final piece will look. It's a poncho. It'll be cute. Really."

I kept on knitting. I finally got to the point where I could put my head in the hole and try on the project that had been consuming me.


And I hated it.

My husband kept making fun of it. "Old lady. Old lady. Old lady."

Where was the cute poncho from the book? What went wrong? Why was this so thing so friggin' ugly? Was it really ugly? Was I just being swayed by my husband? Was I losing my own ability to recognize ugly?

So I showed it to my friend Marissa.

Marissa: "Well...the color is nice."

Thanks. That's like when you ask someone "does my ass look fat in this?" and they reply with, "those are beautiful shoes."

So the Razor's Edge must be ripped out. It's too big. It's too ugly. And by now, I hate the whole idea of it. It's been a week since I've made the decision to rip, so I'm less sickened by all the time and money I've spent on this thing.

But being the yarn ho I am, I've moved on. My new friend is Rowan Plaid. I've got too many waiting projects to get all weepy about an old lady poncho.


Here's a 2x2 ribbed scarf and hat set in progress.


And my first attempt at cables!

So screw that Razor's Edge.


For now it sits in a bag in my closet until I find the energy to rip.