A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to New York

I saw a "feather and fan" sample scarf in my LYS that I just had to make.

It was made with Bouton d'Or Melody, which is a mohair yarn. The only other time I knitted with mohair I mixed it with a straight wool yarn and it was really easy to knit. I was soon to discover knitting solo with mohair was a big pain in the ass.

The needles were small, the yarn was both lumpy and hairy. This pattern has a lot of K2tog's -- and the lumpy-ness and hairiness of the yarn made really difficult to see what the hell I was doing.

I started the scarf and loved the way it looked, but absolutely hated knitting it. Using my F-Factor rating system, I gave it an F-5.


Pretty. But so hard to knit...

I was leaving on a 10 day trip to NY and decided that the only knitting project I would bring with me was the Scarf of Hate. I had a 5-6 hour plane ride each way and the assumed down time during the trip. My reasoning was that if this was the only project with me, I would be forced to knit it.

And while I easily could have bailed on the project (given the trazillion others patiently waiting to be started), I didn't because I knew what the completed scarf looked like and I really wanted it.

So off to NY I went, me and my Scarf of Hate.

I knitted on the plane. Knitted and knitted. I knitted occasionally at my hotel when I had a free moment. And somewhere about day 5 of my trip, I got used to the hairy, lumpy yarn. My scarf was moving along nicely and I no longer felt the same level of hated for my yarn. You could even go so far as to say that I started to enjoy this project.

Even with a NY yarn store visit and purchase (ie: new project!) -- I continued knitting the scarf formerly known as the Scarf of Hate.


A Blurry Image of Completed Scarf of Hate No More


Close up of Feather and Fan pattern

Feather & Fan is easy. I'd like to try it next with a less fluffy yarn because I'm thinking the pattern would be even more visable. Here's the pattern if you'd like to do it yourself:

CO mult of 18 + 2 (the scarf I made was 38 on size 8 US needles)
Row 1: K
Row 2: P
Row 3: K1, *(K2 TOG) 3x, (YO, K1) 6x, (K2 TOG) 3x; REP from * to last
stitch;end K1.
Row 4: K
REP these 4 rows.

It helps to place a marker after 1st stitch and before the last stitch. This way, you can easily keep track of the 18 stitches of pattern repeat.

The F-Factor

I've decided to come up with my own ratings system for knitting.

Mostly because I don't believe the current terminology of "Easy," "Intermediate" or "Expert" fully prepares the knitter for the kind of project on which they are about to embark. (See how proper that sentence was? I managed to NOT end it in a preposition.)

Therefore, I've created the F-Factor Ratings System. It's a rather simple system: How many times the knitter blurts out "Fuck!" during knitting a particular pattern determines its "F-Factor" rating*. Easy, peasy.

For example, a simple scarf with a straight garter stitch might only require one, if any, "Fuck!" mutterings while knitting the entire scarf. This scarf pattern would have an F-Factor rating of F1.

Yet a more complicated, let's say, lace patterned poncho with a pattern printed WRONG in the book, and WRONG on the errata page of the book's website, might require multiple howlings of "Fuck!" This pattern would be more likely to get an F-Factor rating of F4.

Even more interesting would be the cardigan I just finished. This was a pretty easy pattern to follow. Just a few "fucks!" could be heard throughout most of that pattern. Until...I reached the sleeves and the two sets of circular needles. The pattern then became an F5...with a bullet.





Thankfully, the pattern redeemed itself as this knitter got more accustomed to knitting with two sets of circulars. In the end, it netted out to have an F-Factor rating of about F3.





So let's review:

The fewer "fuck!" utterances during the knitting process yields a lower F-Factor rating. The more uses of "fuck!" yields a higher F-Factor rating.

Feel free to begin using this rating system. I think it's just a wee bit more realistic. Don't you?

*Or any curse word you favor.